Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.

Anne Frank

This is the second installment of a series I am writing about parenting.You may read the first chapter of this essay here

Lawd I hope I am Doing This Right

We as parents have an immense capability to irrevocably damage a child. In the beginning, we are all they have.  As time progresses we are the best example our kids  have. The life we live in front of them is etched into their minds for the remainder of their lives. Either we are a moral example of how to live  or leave them to their own vices and hope the wilds of the world raises them correctly. Either choice is a risk because sometimes you  do all that is right in your mind and things still don’t turn out right. However, it’s an adventure and as with all adventures there are risks that can lead to great rewards.

The Gut Punch

Over the course of the years as we navigate the stormy seas and calm evenings of being a parent, we must be prepared to offer advice and soul healing affection when darkness visits our children. Trust the days will come when they walk into our homes with their heads down and emotionally raw from the sucker punches that life often throws our way. Out of breath and exasperated they plop down on the couch and look to you to offer the soothing balm of understanding and love. When they ask for your advice, just listen and don’t be quick to judge. Offer advice based on your own experiences and what you’ve  learned through out life. Can we guarantee it will be the best we can offer? No. All we can do is hope the right thing is said at the right time.

Ok Follow Me:The Moral Compass

Teaching what is right and wrong  means a lot of things to different people. However, giving a child a moral compass or ideals that define character are really important. When they leave our home, and embark on their own journey we, as parents, want to be confident our kids live a life that not only we are proud of but them also. We can be the example of what a stable relationship looks like. We can be the example of how to treat others with respect. We can be example of how to pick yourself up when life slams you to the ground. Doing these things are not easy because we are flawed human beings. We are born into a world that is rife with temptation. Being the best parent all the time is, in my opinion, virtually impossible. Outside of Jesus there is no perfect man or woman.

3 thoughts on “Hey Wake Up You’re a parent: Part Two

  1. As the custodial parent of my three daughters, I can attest to all you have written here. It is a balancing act and an education of self.

    I’m now an empty-nester and I can say from the outside looking in – I like my daughters and the women they’ve become. Some of that was from me, only because as their leader, I worked to curate people, beginning with their father, who have varied strengths to help raise them. (We really don’t raise our children alone – thank goodness!)

    I’m not so sure I believe we are flawed as human beings. I believe we are perfectly fashioned as is any mammal… But I agree with you too. (It’s the dichotomy of life) We are the product of our parents lead – and all the baggage they carry. We can come into this world through parents with hardened hearts or soft hearts. The hat trick, no matter who raises us, is to have the courage to follow your own path, listen to the voice of your inner Divine and come equip with a high threshold to do things your own way. The latter I learned from listening to the podcast “The Big Man Can’t Shoot” of “Revisionist History” by Malcolm Gladwell.

    1. Your comment is so right on. We as parents are the best example,at least hope, our kids will have. However when they leave the nest they must live their own lives the best they know how. All we can do is be there as needed. They will raise their own families and continue the cycle of raising kids and doing the best they can. Finally our failures and triumphs are what makes us and the life lessons from those are invaluable when it comes to raising kids. Thanks so much for reading and I enjoy your blog melhopkinssite.wordpress.com

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